Behind the curtain
by violetsuki
Summary: Behind the curtain of the memory are hidden our fears, our joys, our doubts… would you have the curiosity to move aside the curtain of Hephaistion's souvenirs ?
1. Behind the curtain

**And Happy New Year 2015 to all ! That this new year brings you Love, Health, Prosperity and Creativity. Be yourself and be happy !**

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><p><strong>Behind the curtain<strong> is the title of a series (taken from the title of the first chapter). The topic is the tale of short moments in the life of Hephaistion. It is not historical at all, you know. Just silly short stories who cross my mind from time to time. I already wrote six stolen moments. I did that just for fun and I will complete the series following my inspiration.

We have a proverb in France : « Pour vivre heureux, vivons caché » (Jean-Pierre Florian, Fables) that I can translate by :  
>« To live happy, live hidden ». This was the start of this little fantasy.<p>

In a way the Ariadne's thread of these short stories is what is hidden behind the curtain of our memories : our fears, joys, doubts, moments of intimacy, etc…

I hope you will enjoy it. Don't forget my reward : your review ! Without them I can't survive. ;D

Now it is your turn to move aside the curtain…

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><p><strong><em>BEHIND THE CURTAIN<em>**

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><p><em>My dear best friend !<em>

_My name is Hephaistion Amintoros, I am eight years old. I don't know you. Nor who you are, or where you live. But, what I know is that I shall meet you one day. Like me you will be a boy, and I hope you shall have the same age than me. I want to write this letter for you that I don't know yet. Like that you will learn who I was before the day of our encounter._

_One day we shall meet and at the moment our eyes will cross, I shall know that you will be the most important person for me : my best friend. But first let me present myself and my family._

_It is not so easy to describe myself but I will try. I am tall for my age. I take it from my father. At least, it is all the people say about me. Cause of that, often they treat me like if I was older. Sometimes it is nice, but sometimes too I would like to be treated for who I am. Just an eight years old boy. _

_I don't really remember my mother. She died when I was a little boy. Every body says that she was the most beautiful person on Earth. Sometimes, some ghost memories haunt me. I feel on my cheek like a caress. A light and white hand who slides on my hair. Sweet lips that smile and whisper, I can't hear the voice but I imagine that this one was soft and gentle. Another image : Serious blue eyes like mine who look at me with love and sadness like a farewell._

_Often my father says that I have the eyes of my mother. I smile and hug him tight to hide my embarrassment in seeing the tears in his eyes. _

_My father calls Amyntas. He is tall as I said and well build. He is strong and the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. He has 25 years old. He has long hair and green eyes. I have never met my grandparents. They were dead during the great decease before my birth. So I have, from now, only my father. But you know I am not unlucky contrary to what it seems. I am surrendered with so much love : my father, my nanny and all the people living on the domain. My father has inherited some richness from his parents and we have servants and slaves to make the duties on the lands and to play with me. _

_Our house is really big. At least, it is for me. You enter in a short hall who lead to a peristyle : a square place edged by marble columns ; and, in the middle of this one an oliver tree. The rooms are organized around this courtyard. First, at the entrance, to the left the andrôn, where as you can think we receive the guests and to the right the library. Then, following the andrôn, a hall on the left who drives you to the kitchen and the storeroom. If you continue to follow the peristyle, come after some bedrooms then my favorite room : a private thermae. _

_After we came back from Athens, my father decided to build a bath room. Living far from a city, he missed the comfort we had in Athens. My father is really a genius and he has imagined a way to bring the water from the river near the house to supply in water the bath. It is amazing ! Each room is decorated with mosaics dedicated to Gods or Goddess. My room is dedicated to — don't laugh, please ! — Aphrodite. Dad said that it was my mum who chose. So I do with that. But I would prefer Zeus or Hephaistos. I am not Paris after all. _

_By the way, do you like Homer's Illiad ? The last year before we leaved Athens, my father met a lot of philosophers like Xenocrate and Aristotle. And one of them gave him the book. Often when my father is in mission and I miss him, I read the book. I like the story of Achilles and Patroclus. Maybe when we shall met we can play to Achilles and Patroclus. It would be nice ! Sometimes, I feel a little bit alone, you know. And it would be a dream to have a friend with whom I could share all my thoughts and my play._

_My father owns a lot of horses. He learnt me to ride before I could even walk. At least it is what he always said with such pride to every body who is amazed by my ability. But, my father worked too for the king Philip. Sometimes, he leaves for some missions. And cause of his duty, my father and me were obliged to live in Athens during a long time. I discovered again the Macedon only when I was seven._

_What kind of job my father does for the king, stays a mystery even now. All I know, it's that must be dangerous because more than once he came back home wounded. He never said a word about what is happened to him. But I could see the ghosts in his eyes and the sadness like the joy too sometimes. Each time I asked him what it is happened, he looked at me and smiled without a word. He pated my hair and kissed my forehead. And he added : « I just do my job ». I understood at this moment, it was useless to ask for more. My father has his secrets. His job was not the only one._

_Some day ago, my father had a guest. This one arrived home in the night. It was really late but I was looking the stars at my bedroom's window. You know, I like looking at the stars and trying to imagine what it could be to be a God. It is my dream, you know, to meet a God. Yes, a wonderful dream ! Anyway ! So the guest !…_

_I was distracted from my revery by the sound of a horse. It was not usual so I stay quiet and silent. You know in case it was some robber or some other danger. I wanted to be sure before to warn every one in the house. I heard a door, a whisper in the night. And the silence. I was so surprised and so curious that I decide to go and see. Like a cat I head to the enter. And hidden behind some furniture I could see my father and a stranger._

_This latter grabbed my father by his arms and took him in a strong and manly hug. Cause of the way he acted, I thought : it must be a good friend of my father but I have never seen him before. I heard my father said with some emotion and astonishment : « Philip ? What do you do there ? And alone? It is too dangerous and… ». The man cut him : « I don't care. I wanted to see you. You will leave soon again and I couldn't wait to see you anymore. » At this moment, the man took the head of my father between his hands and kissed him on his lips like if they will never have another chance to do that again._

_I look at the two men, mouth opened like a fish. So shocking ! I feel my face grew red. I never saw my father to kiss anyone. I felt guilty to be there and look at something I didn't have to see. But, in me two feelings fought : the shame and the curiosity. This last one was the vanquish._

_Philip, the friend of my father continued to kiss him. My father tried to push him in saying : « Philip, please, stop. My son… my son is here. He can hear us. » But Philip chased his last resistance in saying that I must be deeply asleep._

_What happen next was really strange. Philip was a short man but seemed to be really strong. He put the body of my father on his right shoulder and lead himself to the andrôn. My father protested about this treatment. Asking to Philip if he was already drunk and saying in laughing he was not one of his concubine. Philip just answered in giving a tap on the buttocks of my father, saying that he was like a horse that needed to be tamed. The answer of my father let me open mouth : « And how does my King hope to do that ?… »._

_My King ? My king ! This man is the King of Macedon and the friend of my father ! I was so excited. The King was in my home ! But, wait ! I wonder, if the King is my father's friend, maybe he is a little bit my friend too. I have to ask to my father._

_My father has always spoke about the King with pride. The Gods endow him with an uncommon force. He said that « Philip » was a great King, wise and moderated. Yes, I remember now that he always called him like that. Telling fabulous stories about battles they have done together and how Philip was really smart in revolutionizing the art of war, making the Macedon stronger against their enemies. _

_He said too he was a good man and a good father who loves his son and heir Alexander. I wonder how old is the prince. It would be nice if he has my age. Maybe I could be his friend like my father and the King. But I shouldn't like this one kiss me on the mouth. Ahh ! Disgusting !_

_I wanted to see more about the King and I dare to approach the door of the room closed by a curtain. I was about to move aside the thick curtain. I let my hand in abeyance in hearing a strange moan, then the voice of my father in a strange tone pleading Philip. My heart beat so strongly in my chest. I felt something was wrong but I couldn't understand what. I was excited and afraid to continue my move and to discover what was hidden behind the curtain._

_Slowly I moved aside the curtain, when a hand retained me. I raised my head to discover Pelias the servant of my father. He put a finger on his lips and brought me in the kitchen. Without a word he helped me to sit on a chair and put on the table a glass of milk. Then he sat beside me waiting my question. I know I was wrong, but I asked accusing why he stopped me. He said : « Curiousity is a good thing Little Master, but some things must stay hidden. » Pelias like my father always spoke in a mysterious way. Then I asked him if he knew what was happening in the room. He didn't say anything. He only smiled and put a hand on my shoulder adding that I have to go to bed. _

_You know, I hate when adults did that. It is sssooooo irritating. I would like we make a promise to never hide anything to each other. And to always share everything… _

Alexander stops his reading, hesitating between laugh and emotion. He turns his head to the bed where a naked body was spread and lied flat on his stomach. He approaches and joins his forsaken lover on the mattress. He can't help himself to cling to Hephaistion hugging him by behind and to slide a leg between these ones. The young man assaulted in this tender way, opens his eyes and can't retain a whispered complaint :

« Please Alex ! Not now. I am so exhausted I can't even raise a finger. My hips and my back ache like hell. »

And as soon as, not waiting for an answer, he closes his eyes again.

Alexander doesn't answer, just puts a light kiss on the shoulder and reads aloud a passage of the letter :

« I wonder how old is the prince. It would be nice if he has my age. Maybe I could be his friend like my father and the King. But I shouldn't like this one kiss me on the mouth. Ahh ! Disgusting ! »

At the reading, a sleeping Phai opens his eyes with surprise and blushes :

« What ? »

« I don't know if you find my kisses disgusting yet, but for what it is to be « friend » like…my father and yours, I think I fulfill your wish tonight. »

« Where did you find this ? »

« I wanted to read your Illiad, I take it and it felt from the book »

« Oh ! »

« By the way, you are wrong. Your mum had a good taste for your room. »

Then he whispers seductively in the ear of Hephaistion :

« In this ambiance, I feel really a husband, the day of his wedding, deflowering his pretty spouse on their first night under the kindly gaze of Aphrodite. »

Alexander laughs in seeing his lover turning as red as a beetroot and avoids the pillow he sends to him.

« Silly idiot ! »

Alexander smiles tenderly at the answer. But he can't stop to tease his so new lover and adds :

« Do you think your father hear us ? I didn't know you were so noisy. »

The face turns red even more and Hephaistion takes his head in his hands in complaining in shame :

« Oh Gods ! I hope no or I shall not be able to face him ».

As an answer to Alex's question, Pelias enters in the room and says :

« Your bath is ready Little Master »

« Oh ! Thank you ! But… I didn't ask for anything »

« Oh ! It is your father, he said to me that after the night you have passed, you will need a hot bath. »

Alexander bursts out in laugh while Hephaistion hides himself under a pillow saying that he would like to die.

Pelias adds almost mysteriously :

« I think you know now what was hidden behind the curtain. »

And without waiting for a response he leaves.  
>At this moment, he realizes. Yes, Hephaistion has the answers to all his questions now. Looking at Alexander, he understands.<p>

Sometimes, some things must stay hidden behind the curtain… to last.


	2. Painful love

In life, there is fun or sad moments. This one is a sad moment in which Hephaistion shares with us some feeling like : how much painful it is to love a King…  
>Enjoy !<p>

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><p><em><strong>PAINFUL LOVE<strong>_

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><p><em>« <em>_How can you be so arrogant to believe Alexander could be only yours ? Are you so naive ? »_

_My father said as he went in the room back and forth. _

_« He is a prince, Hephaistion. And he will become a king one day. »_

_He stopped in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders._

_« You will have to keep a cold head and put aside this stupid jealousy, if you want to last in the royal court. The King Philip has more than one wife or lover in his life. You have to accept that it will be the same for Alexander ; or it will be your doom. »_

_« But I love only him. Only him Father ! To a point that it hurts ! To a point that I can't breathe ! » Hephaistion answered with tears in his eyes._

_Amyntas took his teenage son in a tight hug to comfort him, brushing his hair like when he was a boy._

_« I know my son. I know »…_

The words of my father make a painful echo in my heart as I look at Alexander kissing Bagoas. Yes I look, hearing the acclamations of the crowd, the lazy of my companions. I raise my cup like the others but my heart bleeds and all of sudden, a forgotten image comes back to my memory…

_I was nine years old. I was home. I was excited this night. My father had some important guests. The king came with some companions. And Dad had agreed that I pass a moment with his friends. They came to hunt. But tonight they will feast. _

_My nanny had some difficulties to comb me. I was so excited and impatient to see the King again._

_« Be quiet Little Master. How could I comb you if you don't stop to budge ? »_

_« But I want to go »_

_« Not before you are ready. Don't you want to make proud your father ? »_

_With a sigh, I stayed quiet knowing I couldn't win._

_« Ok, Nanny ! __» With a so desperate tone that made laugh this one. __« __But, please Nanny, hurry up ! »_

_« If you would stop to twist and turn, I should have already finished »_

_As soon as I was ready I leaved the room in running followed by some recommandations of care from Nanny._

_Arrived at the andrôn, I stopped at the door. I could hear inside the men laughing and joking. I entered calmly in the room. The King was sit on a couch near him a man with black hair. He seems to be __a little bit __younger than my father. The King grabbed the young man behind the neck and brought him close to kiss him on the lips. I couldn't help myself to blush. I looked at my father who observed the two men in silence. His smile erased slowly. My father turned his gaze away and I could see just for a tiny moment a painful light in his eyes…  
>I remember how my joy to see the King faded at this moment.<em>

From time to time, this scene has come back to my memory. And often I wondered what my father had felt. But not anymore. Closing my eyes on the view of my King and his eunuch, I whisper like a painful prayer :  
><em>« I know Father. I know ».<em>


	3. Soft revenge

_Sometimes, behind the hate something hides._  
>Enjoy !<p>

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><p><em><strong>SOFT REVENGE<strong>_

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><p>I was ten years old. I run. Yes I was running on the path and through fields to join my home. I run to flee the humiliation I have endured. My heart is full of anger and sorrow. Some tears run along my cheeks but I didn't care. I run, ignoring the worried calls of Nanni in passing in front of my home. I didn't want she saw me like this. I had my pride.<p>

I run again and again until, exhausted, I fell on my knees. Unable to make a pace anymore. My heart beat in my chest like if it was ready to explode. I panted, trying to find my breath. But, the pain of breathing couldn't erase the pain of my heart.

I didn't understand why this boy hated me so much. At school him and his band bullied me. Each time I fought harder than the previous time. But each time he beat me again. Each time they mocked me and said that I was weak, that I fought like a girl. I sweared I will show them that I was not weak, that I was not a girl, that I could beat him. I will have my revenge. I will never allow anybody to beat me again.

I stood up and leaded to a little house close from my place. A man was there, working. I sat on the stone bench placed side by side to the wall. The man said nothing he continued to work a time and stopped. He took a tissue and wiped his hand with, in looking at me in silence. He threw the tissue on a wooden table near. Then, coming close to me, he took my chin in his big and rough hand. Looking at the bruises on my eyes and body, the blood of my lips, he just said :

« Again ? »

I just nodded to answer. He sighed.

« Ok you win. I will teach you. But I prevent you, I am not tender. You have to be disciplined and serious. I don't like shirker. If your father agree you will live with me during your training. »

I nodded in response looking with gratitude Tyndare. I knew his lessons will be tough. But father said to me that he was the best professor he has never had. He was a spartan. Despite his age, he was so strong yet. I always had some admiration for him. The man was built like a bull. Father said he saw him fought in battle long time ago, his big stature frightening his foes. Father said he was so strong than he could lift up a man with one hand.

So I start my training. Tyndare was right, he was not tender. After training with him, I was sure I could endure anything. Some months later, I return to school, the boy and his band attacked me again. But this time things had changed. I was not weak anymore. I was prepared. This time I beat him. The other boys were so shocked, they stayed silent while I left, letting my enemy on the ground. After that nobody dared to call me a girl again.

Some days later, I was on my way home when I heard a noise in the trees along the path. I stopped to look. To my surprise it was the boy. He came close to me and looked at me without a word. In front of his odd attitude, I asked :

« What do you want ? »

He never answered, he took my head between his hands and kissed me hard on the lips. Taken by surprise by his boldness I dealt with him. My brain was frozen, I couldn't react. As soon as the kiss was over he fled. I could feel the red on my cheeks, the blood's beat of my lips under my fingers. It was my first kiss and the last bruise he gave to me. A pleasant one. Three years older than me, he left the village to join the army. After this kiss, I never saw him again.

Until today !

Sat at my desk, I try to hide my surprise in looking at the man standing in front of me : The boy. This one is not a boy anymore. He became a handsome man, who reminded me Tyndare in a way. On his face some scars, but these ones add some charm and increase his virility.

Unconsciously, mirroring the last time we met, I ask :

« What do you want ? »

To my shame, I can't help myself to blush in saying that. I curse myself to react like a woman. So I lower my head to avoid his gaze but not fast enough. I can saw a smile on his lips. He too remembers. I tighten my lips with irritation. Generally I never show any weakness in front of my men. So certainly not with him.

« General Cleitos sends you a message. »

He holds out the letter to me. I take it, read and write my answer. I hold out the letter to the man. In taking the letter, he strokes my fingers with his owns. I swallow in feeling the heat of his skin against mine. I don't look at him. To hide my trouble as soon as he has the letter, I pretend to work on my papers in saying :

« Bring my answer to General Cleitos. »

And without waiting for an answer, I concentrate on my works erasing this moment from my memory. Some minutes pass in silence, when I feel a presence close to me. A hand lift up my chin. Surprised by the gesture, I just look at him with questioning.

« You're the only one who never beat me. And you're the only one with whom I never fall in love. »

He bows to me and stoles me a kiss again. This time it is not the kiss of a boy. He forces my mouth to open for him. Crossing the gate of my lips, he enters and invades me with his tongue. For a time intoxicated with his male smell, I surrender. Letting him savor and take all he wants. Feeling my body react shamelessly. But with a burst of conscious, I fight back and free myself, panting. Looking at him with anger. As if it was nothing, he smiles to me and says :

« When you will be tired of Alexander, I shall be there. »

Then he leaves the room. Alone, I can't help myself to smile in front of his boldness and arrogance. And from the back of my brain a little voice says :

« Why not ! »


	4. Recognition

A sequel of Soft Revenge.

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><p><em><strong>RECOGNITION<strong>_

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><p>Hephaistion wakes up. He moves and winces in pain. His last activities let him stiff and exhausted. He feels unable to move, his muscles heavy. He turns his head to the man asleep close to him. He doesn't smile in looking at him. It was a mistake. Why did he agree to that ?<p>

He forces himself to sit. His lower body aches like Hell. This man is a real bull. He will not be able to ride today. He feels a strong and muscular arm wrap his waist but he rejects it and gets up. The man lying on the bed lets fall his arm. His head leaning on his fist he looks at Hephaistion with serious eyes. This latter takes a silk robe and wraps it around his body. His companion sees how his officer tries to avoid his gaze. Something is wrong.

« What ? »

Without looking at his companion, Hephaistion answers coldly :

« I am sorry. It was a mistake. »

« A mistake ? »

The soldier gets up naked and comes close to Hephaistion. This latter is tall but the soldier even more. He forces him to look at him and adds with harshness :

« When was it a mistake ? When I fucked you thoroughly, while you shouted your pleasure, asking me for more ? When I buried my seed deep inside you at the moment you reached your extasy until to pass out ? Say me Hephaistion ! »

This one blushes and tightens his lips, between anger and shame. He tears himself away from the other man and orders with irritation :

« Don't be so vulgar ! »

« That's right, I am vulgar. I am just a simple soldier not a noble like you. But at least I am not a liar ! You liked it. At least, recognize it ! »

« What difference if I recognize it or not ! That stays a mistake. »

Looking intensively Hephaistion, the soldier stays in silence for a while then he adds calmer :

« I know that you love Alexander. And I don't ask you to stop loving him. But don't reject me. Keep me by your side. »

« To make you suffer like Alexander does with me. »

He says, his eyes becoming teary.

« I can't. I can't ask you that. It is too painful. »

The tall man sighs and takes in his arms Hephaistion.

« You can't take the pain of the whole world on your shoulders. »

He tightens his embrace, holding the young officer as if afraid to lost him. The soldier knows he has to fight to keep the man he loves.

« Do you remember when we were boys ? »

« How can I forget ? You were a real bastard with me. »

The big man smiles.

« I know. I was in anger with you. »

« What ? Why ? I had never done anything to you. »

« Exactly ! That's the reason. »

« What ? »

Hephaistion is confused.

« You didn't done anything to me. You didn't even looking at me. I was invisible to your eyes. You were so different of the other boy. Beautiful, intelligent, elegant, proud. The son of our Lord. On my side, I was just the son of a peasant. I wanted you to remark me. But I didn't worth it. At least it was what my father said. I hated you for that. To beat you was the only way I have found to be someone in front of you. To be recognized by you. »

Hephaistion is taken aback by his words. He never imagined… The man continues.

« You were like a God for me. Inaccessible ! When you beat me, I was lost. I realized my feeling for you. I was afraid and fled in the army. When I stoled you a kiss, I wanted to give you something that none other before me had given you. Something that you will keep and remember forever. I was the first I know. »

He said with a nostalgic smile.

« When I kissed you this day, I thought that I should never see you again. During all these years, I never forgot you. You were there… »

In showing his heart with his fist.

« …always. I carried you in me everywhere I went. Sometimes wishing that Death will come to bring me in the kingdom of Hades. My life without you was like a desert. A soil arid and barren. So imagine what effect made on a thirsty man your presence when you arrived in the army. You were my oasis. The source giving life. I could hope again. I worked hard, like a damned soul to be closed to you. When I see you dressed in officer close to Alexander, the way you look at him, I knew you were lost for me. But I thought that even if I couldn't be loved by you. I would be near you to defend you with my life. Don't see me like a victim Hephaistion. I chose to be near you. And I took my chance when I saw that Alexander disregarded you. So don't reject me. Or my life will not worth to be lived anymore. Let me stay with you. Let me be the pillar you need sometimes even if you will never admit it. I can help you and carry your pain on my shoulders, even if I am not a king but a simple soldier. »

Moved, Hephaistion looks at the man like if he discovered him. Amazed by his words. Nobody has talked to him like this for such a long time. His words are like balm on his wounded heart. He raises a hand to the scarred cheek of the other man.

« No, not a simple soldier, you own a knight's soul. »

Hephaistion has a sad smile and adds :

« I see you now. »

« I know. »

The tall man bows and kisses him.


	5. Jealousy

Sequel of Soft Revenge and Recognition.

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><p><em><strong>JEALOUSY<strong>_

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><p>Alexander half hidden behind the curtain looks into the surgery tent. Again they win the battle but, each time Victory brings too its lot of victims. Inside, smell of blood mixed with fear's sweat and some perfume of balm invade the atmosphere. While groaning and cries of pain break from time to time the silence. Alexander will never be accustomed to that, he is the one who brings those men to war. He is the one who is responsable of each of their wounds. And it breaks his heart.<p>

But right now, it is not his preoccupation. Isolated from the rest, a man in a bed, lying. At his bedside, Hephaistion. The two men talk. From where he is Alexander can see Hephaistion's concern for the man. He is so rare to Hephaistion to show such interest for one of his men. That's intrigued Alexander, but he has other things to think.

He goes to leave when he sees one man's hand slides on Hephaistion's thigh and rides up under the chiton. Alexander is frozen. How does he dare to show this lack of respect for his officer ? But, to his astonishment, Hephaistion doesn't push away the hand. Alexander sees him to blush and to smile. The gesture so intime, so possessive, brings a wave of anger in the heart of Alexander. He feels betrayed. He would like to tear away Hephaistion and to kill his rival.

He enters in the room and leads to Hephaistion. The wounded man in seeing him removes his hand slowy but his eyes challenge Alexander. He tightens his fists. He would like to punch the other man. But he chooses to address to Hephaistion.

« I need to talk to you. »

Seeing the embarrassment and hesitation of Hephaistion, he adds with a anger barely hidden :

« Now ! »

Hephaistion follows Alexander in his tent. During a moment the King, paces in the room looking at his lover.

« How do you dare ? »

Coldly Hephaistion asks :

« Dare what ? »

« To take another man in your bed. »

« It is none of your business. »

« None of my business ! You are my lover. »

« Really ? When was the last time you made love to me ? Are Lover not supposed to be together ? But you prefer to pass your time with your eunuch or your wife while you put me aside. » »

« You are my Patroclus but Bagoas is my Antiloque(1) and… »

Hephaistion cuts his King with irritation.

« Oh, I know the song and Roxane is your Briseis(2). Unless, it is the reverse in regard of the temper of Roxane and the femininity of Bagoas. »

He adds mocking.

« I don't see any fun in this situation. »

« Neither I. But derision helps me to survive your abandon. »

Alexander defends himself.

« I never abandon you. »

« You never change Alexander. Even in front of the evidence, when you fail, you refuse to admit your defeat. You are too arrogant. »

Alexander counter-attacks.

« Who is he ? »

« Nobody. »

« Nobody, really ? So if he is nobody I can clear him from my army. »

Hephaistion tightens his fists in anger.

« How do you dare ? If you do that Alexander… »

Alexander full of anger, comes closer to Hephaistion.

« What ? Do you dare to threaten me ? You forgot that _you are nothing without me._ »

Hephaistion receives the words like a slap in the face. He answers cold and numb :

« No Alexander, it is you. It is you who are nothing without me. »

And without waiting, Hephaistion leaves.

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><p><strong><em>Notes<em>**_  
>(1) Antiloque was a close friend of Achilles, sometimes presented like his lover.<em>

_(2) Briseis was given to Achilles as war prize to be his concubine._


	6. The Search

Sequel and the last part of Soft Revenge, Recognition and Jealousy. I wanted to finish this "Soft Revenge story" by a naughty and frivolous note, nothing graphic just suggested. Enjoy !

_ Alexander has lost his love and maybe more than that but sometimes in searching we find more than we expected. _

Don't forget to let your comment. I start to be famished ! :D

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><p><em><strong>THE SEARCH<strong>_

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><p>The tomorrow of his quarrel with Hephaistion, Alexander has the surprise to hear the wounded man asking for an audience. Curious to learn more about his rival, Alexander agrees. The man is tall, taller than Hephaistion and well built. Despite his wound on his waist hidden by a bandage, he acts as if it was nothing, a peccadillo. It says enough about the man.<p>

Sat at his desk, Alexander acts like if he is busy, reading a paper. But if someone asked him, he would be unable to say the subject of the letter. With a cold and nonchalant tone, he says as if it was without interest :

« What is your name ? And what do you want ? »

« My name is Heracles, your Highness. »

Alexander raises a eyebrow from astonishment. Not knowing if he must laugh or cry. His Hephaistion stolen by Heracles himself.

« Heracles, really ? Continue ! »

« Hephaistion has disappeared. »

This time, Alexander feels more than concerned. He gives up the letter on the desk.

« How so ? »

« The last evening, he didn't come back. Usually we… »

Alexander cuts him.

« I am not interested to know what you do together. Are you sure of what you advance ? »

« Yes, your Highness. After I came back from the surgery tent, I have waited him all the night in his tent thinking he must be with you. But his page said to me that he saw him left your tent early in the evening. And I have searched everywhere in the camp. It seems he has disappeared and his horse too. I ask permission to your majesty to go and search him. »

« All right, but I go with you. »

He calls a page and give his instructions. Some minutes later Cleitos enters in the tent.

« I need a light escort ready as soon as possible. Say to Crateros to take the commandment of the camp. And ask to the guards in duty yesterday evening if one of them saw Hephaistion left the camp. »

« Yes Alexander. »

Some times later, Cleitos comes back with a soldier this one tells the direction that Hephaistion took. Adding that this latter seemed really disturbed. Alexander could feel on him the questioning gaze of Heracles, but he avoids it. He knows he has his part of responsibility in Hephaistion's disparition. But he has his pride too and he will never admit it in front of a stranger.

After hours of search they didn't find any clue of where Hephaistion could be. The anxiety takes the two men. A silent grows between them, fulfilled of resentment for one and guilt for the second. They are now following a craggy path. And to harden the things, the signs of a tempest start from afar. A current things in this landscape of mountain. The snow didn't ease either their way.

Even if they say nothing, the two men fear that if Hephaistion is wounded somewhere in these mountains, he will not survive the night. The difficulties of the path force them to dismount and to walk in line. As speed as a snake the tempest arrives on them obliged them to find a shelter for men and horses. The tempest worsens to a point they can't see anything as far as half a meter. The wind so strong avoids them to communicate.

The horses feel more and more nervous. Something is wrong. Bucephalos gives a kick and escaping from the hands of Alexander, hurries to go forward, pushing Alexander to run after him and to join Heracles and his horses. Then follows a terrible sound. Alexander is pushed by a hand against the cliff that erects above them, escaping a fall of stones. By far, he seems to hear some cries of pain from his men and horses. But behind him the path now is closed.

Heracles and Alexander are separated from the others. In the tempest, they can't wish to have some news. Heracles puts a hand on Alexander and shouts as loud as he can that they have to find a safer place. Alexander nods. He feels powerless and he doesn't like this feeling. Looking with some anger at Heracles who leads the walk. After all it is all his fault, he thinks. Not being honest with himself. If this one didn't come between his Phai and himself, all this situation will never happen.

For what seems hours, they continue to go forward. As quick as it came, the tempest stops. Letting behind only a heavy silence. No sound, no smell as if the altitude annihilated all around them letting only a mineral world made of water, stone and wood. Even so a feeble sound could be heard. Some cries of agony. Heracles and Alexander look at each other with some anxiety. They hurry to see from where comes from this sound. Later, they find below a horse that tries to stand up straight without success on the slope. Alexander recognizes as soon as Hephaistion's horses. But no tracks of Hephaistion around.

The two men know they can't count only on themselves from now to find Hephaistion. The soldiers must have returned to the camp to find some help. And then, they will come back to rescue them. But in waiting, they have to find Hephaistion and a place to stay before the night fall. Or any of them will be able to survive.

Heracles takes a rope on his horse. They try to find a way to go down. Slowly they find their way. Close to the horse, they can see the problem. Hephaistion's horse has a broken leg and some deep injuries on his flank. The horse is agonizing. The two men look the animal with sadness. They know that in this case there is only one solution. Heracles bends down, strokes the animal and whispers him soft words. Then taking his dagger he slices the throat of the horse with a sure move. His throat is tight, Heracles has always loved this beautiful horse. Standing up and without looking at Alexander, he states with a mixing of anger and sadness :

« It is all your fault. »

In front of this accusing tone and despite the guilt who invades him, Alexander feels his anger is growing up.

« My fault ? my fault ? You have some nerve. If YOU didn't come between Hephaistion and me, all this would never happen. »

« YOU gave him up. YOU ! Not me ! He would never accept to take me in his bed if you… »

But before he has time to finish his sentence Alexander hits him. The simple fact to imagine the two men together is unbearable. The two men fight. Heracles can be tall but Alexander is stronger and lively. Alexander takes the advantage a moment before to lost his balance cause of a rock hidden by the snow. Alexander finds himself falling on the ground then turning over to stand, he sees Heracles his dagger in his hand. During a moment Alexander didn't know what to think, so with some provocation he asks :

« Do you intend to kill me ? »

« And to lost the trust of Hephaistion ? Certainly not ! I am not stupid. »

Placing his dagger in his belt, he holds out his hand to Alexander. After some tiny instant of hesitation, this one takes it and lets Heracles helps him to be up. Not so far a color mark on the ground attracts the attention of Alexander. He recognizes the coat of Phai.

« Here ! — He shouts — He is here. »

He runs in hurry to the form half hidden by the snow, following by Heracles. Some blood on the snow. He has a cut on the head and bleeds. His lips are blue, he must be frozen. Alexander fears that even if the fall has not kill him, the cold will surely finish the work. They try to wake him up without success. When all of sudden a howl is heard. The two men look at each other thinking the same : wild beasts. They have to find a safe place quickly. Looking at the cliff around, they finally find what they search : a cave. Heracles takes Hephaistion while Alexander on the way bring woods for fire.

With difficulties they arrive to their aim. Inside the cave is big enough to let pass the horses. While Alexander prepares the fire, Heracles returns to search the horses. With some fur covers they prepare a bed for Hephaistion. Between the heat of the horse and the one of the fire, soon the temperature become more bearable.

« How is he ? »

Heracles asks to Alexander.

« He has a cut on the head not really serious and his ankle too is wounded. » »

« So why he doesn't wake up. »

« The knock on the head must have been hard, and he stayed in the cold too long. We have to warm him. Help me to undress him and undress yourself too. »

« What ? »

« With this coldness the only way to warm him is to be be skin against skin. And our clothes are wet. »

Alexander undresses too and lays against Hephaistion. Heracles does the same and adds on them a fur cover.

« Rub him ! That will help too ! »

After a long moment, where they rub and massage the body of Hephaistion, this one seems less cold. The blue of the lips has disappeared. During hours Heracles and Alexander watch over him. Bond by their worry towards Phai, they talk long time. And all naturally the topic was what they love and share : Hephaistion. The two men realizes that despite their first argument, they have a lot in common. Looking at and listening to Heracles, Alexander must recognize that Phai has good taste. He discovers the unconditional love that the warrior has for his officer. He is not surprised. After all, HE too is Alexander and can inspire such a devotion. On these minds, Morpheus comes and closes their eyes on this exhausting day…

On the morning, outside the snow falls, spreading a veil of silence on this world. The only sounds are the one of the fire and from time to time the horses who snorts. Leaning on his elbow, Alexander looks at Heracles asleep close to Hephaistion. What he said is true, he is the only responsable of this whole situation. How could he deny it ? He sighs.

His gaze crosses open blue eyes.

« Alexander ? What is it happened ? »

The young officer seems dazed and confused.

« Do you remember ? You fell with your horse after you left the camp. »

« Oh ! »

Then feeling another body against him. He looks at the warrior asleep beside him.

« Heracles ? »

« Yes. He was worried, because you disappeared, so he came to me. »

After an instant he whispers :

« I am sorry. I was rude and unfair with you. I know that it was all my fault. But please don't play this game again. Do you realize how we were worried Heracles and myself ? »

With a smile Hephaistion repeats :

« Heracles and myself ! »

« What ? »

« Nothing ! I am just surprised. Some hours ago you wanted to throw him out of the army and now it is « Heracles and me ». Have I to be jealous ? »

Hephaistion teases. Alexander rolls his eyes.

« Hilarious ! Really ! It seems the knock on your head was not hard enough to bring some wisdom in this pretty head. »

Hephaistion bursts out laughing, but as soon as holds his head in his hand.

« Oh by Zeus, my head ! I have such a headache. »

« Thank you Father ! You avenge me. » — Mocks Alex.

They heard Heracles laughs behind them. Alexander smiles and thinks that, after all, the situation could have been worse. He could have lost Hephaistion. Some shivers run through him in retrospect. Yes, the Gods sent him a warning. What will he become without Phai ? Would his dreams have any sense without him ? Would his life have any sense without him ? At this thought, looking at Phai, his eyes become teary. With deference, he bows and puts a kiss on the shoulder of Hephaistion, shivering. He closes his eyes and lets there his head. To feel the warm and living skin under him makes him want to cry.

Feeling the distress of his lover against him, all mockery disappears. Without a word, he looks at Heracles who nods in response. Being up and dressing he goes out a moment. Letting Phai and Alexander. Taking in his arms Alexander, Phai whispers him some soft words.

From where he is, Heracles observes Alex and Phai talking. He knows his place beside Hephaistion is nothing compared to the relationship he has with Alexander. He accepts that. He is ready to endure all to stay by his side. He loves him so much. He looks and sees Alexander to kiss on the lips Phai who responds with such passion. He can't help himself to continue to watch, despite the pain who tightens his heart. When the kiss ends, Heracles crosses the gaze of Alexander. Finally sighing, he looks away and shivers. But it is not the cold the culprit. What will be his future now ?

Alexander leaves hephaistion's lips with regret. Raising his head, he crosses the gaze of Heracles.

« You chose well. »

Then he looks at his Phai with adoration, caressing absently the body of his lover. Phai is puzzled.

« Chose what ? »

« Your Heracles. He is a good guy. I allow him to stay by your side. »

« You allow him ! You allow him ! »

Hephaistion exclaims with a feeling rocking between exasperation and amusement.

« Alexander you are the most arrogant person I never met. »

« And proud to be ! »

Alexander adds with a big smile and continues :

« But I have some conditions. »

« Why am I not astonished ? »

« He will become your official bodyguard. »

Hephaistion looks at Alexander with some kind of surprise and contentement mixed. But knowing well Alexander, he wonders where is the trap.

« That's all ? »

« No. My second condition is… That you allow me to share your bed with both of you from time to time. »

Hephaistion blushes open mouth and exclaims with surprise.

« Alexander ! »

« What ? »

« Who are you and what have you done to my Alex ? »

« I was thinking that some spicy moments could be nice to keep going the flame of love. »

« You call that « spicy moment ». Alexander you are such a pervert. I call that lust. »

« I am sure Heracles will not mind. And don't say me this idea didn't cross your mind. »

Hephaistion blushes even more.

« You are… You are… »

Alexander bursts out laughing in front of the expression of his lover.

Heracles calls them at this moment, the rescue was there…

After this episode, from time to time, people could see in the morning their King and the bodyguard of Hephaistion leaving together like accomplice the tent of this latter with a satisfied smile. The guards outside the tent sharing a knowing gaze at their passage. These mornings, Hephaistion skipping the breakfast, would leave his tent very late. And if someone asked to the Guards outside the tent what they did behind the curtain during these nights, they just answered with faces growing red, not letting any doubt of what happened inside.

« They talk »

« Really, they talk ? All night ? »

« Yes, sadly all night long ! »

END


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